Finally Some Calm After the Storm...

Our little girl has had quite an eventful week or so since my last post. Last Wednesday, the doctors attempted to extubate her, and immediately she showed signs that she was not ready to come off the breathing tube again. They ran more tests and discovered that her infection had now spread to her lungs.  Since she did not seem to be responding to the meds as quickly as they hoped, a specialist in infectious diseases was consulted and recommended a spinal tap to rule out more serious problems. Thankfully, the spinal came back negative, and she seems to be responding much better to the treatment now. After almost two weeks of not a lot of good news, we finally got the call that they successfully extubated her today. She is back on CPAP and so far her settings remain low and she is doing well. Her eye test last week showed the results the doctors expected for her gestational age, which is minor ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity). Typically this clears on it's own, and she will be re-tested next week to see if there is an improvement. We are incredibly grateful that as of now they don't need to take any corrective measures, and our biggest prayer need is for positive news next week regarding her eyes. One of our biggest celebrations this week is that she is officially weighing in at 3 pounds 12 ounces, so it is looking like we may join the 4 pound club soon.  Over the last few days we have seen a big change in how active she has been, and several nurses have commented that she must be feeling better because she sure is feisty again. I guess we know who she takes after in the personality department. I actually told my mom earlier this summer that I had a feeling that after the kind of baby I was, I didn't think I would be getting off too easy with my own child (for those of you that didn't know me when I was young, let's just say from the stories I've heard personality wasn't something I ever lacked). It appears that just like me, my child is going to let you know her opinion on things.

Recently I stumbled across this passage titled "How Preemie Moms are Chosen," and in the darkest moments over the difficult last two weeks this has brought me to tears, and also given me comfort. I will close with this and of course the latest pics of Miss Personality:

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
(Adapted from Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.

"A mirror will suffice."

 Loving her tummy time!

 She kept opening her eyes, and we couldn't get a good shot of it.

Sleepy mommy and baby

 One arm raised seems to be her favorite position.

Daddy did a great job picking out more sheets.

 My step-sister, Jenny, knitted the cutest hat and booties for Casey.

 She was letting me know she was in no mood for dress up.

 The most adorable little bootie feet ever!

Celebrating her last night in a normal hat by wearing the most enormous bow ever!  CPAP hats sure don't look this cute.

Checking Things Off the To-Do List

This weekend we accomplished one huge task off of our to-do list of things to do before Casey comes home...we finished the nursery!!! First a quick update on our girl: The doctors were able to determine that a Urinary Tract Infection was the cause of her struggles last week. Further tests showed she was anemic again, so she also received another blood transfusion, and immediately her color started look better. The doctors have her on antibiotics for a few more days, and we are praising God that an ultrasound to see if there was any scarring on her kidneys looked good. It is never easy to hear your child has an infection, but as far as infections go a UTI is pretty easily treated and we are relieved that they seem to have found the cause of her discomfort. Her biggest prayer need this week is for a positive result from her eye exam, which is scheduled for Monday, September 12.

In the five weeks since Casey was born, I have given myself a deadline to have her nursery completed by the time I go back to work. It is hard to believe that the first part of my maternity leave is up tomorrow, but this weekend we finally got down to business. The crib we ordered in July arrived on Thursday as scheduled, and my amazingly talented and wonderful friend (and the only person I know that is more of a perfectionist than I am), Alicia, allowed me to hold her hostage in my house all day Saturday to help me put the room together. One of the first things I convinced Brian we needed in our nursery was a wall decal, and Brian's only stipulation was that it include monkeys. After weeks of searching on Etsy, we customized a decal that I think turned out beautifully (although Alicia can tell you it was one beast to put up). I found a gorgeous bedding online and that inspired the shades of green and gray throughout the room. I also combed Etsy (although my husband would probably prefer the terms "obsessed" and "stalked") for the perfect artwork, and after much consideration, we finally figured out a great arrangement for all the prints. Throughout the summer, I have also been working on quite a few DIY (do-it-yourself) projects, and as you will see below they had quite the "C"theme for her first initial. After all the debate we had over choosing her name, I wanted that letter prominently displayed! For those that don't know, Casey is Brian's mom's maiden name. We originally planned to use it as a middle name. Early on I fell in live with the name Macy, and for the first few weeks after we found out we were having a girl we jokingly referred to her as Macy Casey. Around the beginning of July, I suddenly had an epiphany that Casey should be her first name, and Brian was of course ecstatic. We chose Elise as her middle name because it is a combination of my mom's name, Lisa, and my middle name, Elisabeth (yeah, you try coming up with a first name to go with Lisa as a middle name...trust me, "Mona" is the only one that works, and that wasn't happening).

I couldn't be happier with how well the room turned out, and Brian and I spent a solid 30 minutes after it was complete snapping pictures with every piece of technology in our house with picture taking capabilities. Without further ado, here is where our little Doodlebug will drift into dreamland when she arrives home:

The decal complete with Brian's monkeys



Crib Close-up

 The corner view

Side wall

Wall collage

 "Uh, who is this new girl, and why does she get all this cool new stuff?"

Porter on the other hand thinks this is his new personal playground.

The dresser Daddy put together

 This print is one of my favorite details of the room. I contacted Courtney, of Courtney Winet Designs, who created this using the lyrics of Rascal Flatt's "My Wish."  This song has always made me tear up when I think of my hopes for my children

 The canvas I painted

 Button "C" I made inspired by one I saw on Etsy (and yes, I sewed on every one of those stinking buttons).

Mod Podged "C"

The pillow I made for the chair (also another project inspired by Etsy)

Yarn letters (also the first Pinterest inspired creation I have made)

The close up on the built-ins

Little Milestones and a New Hurdle

It is hard to believe, but yesterday Casey turned one month old!!!  Since my last post she made some progress with her breathing and was off the breathing tube again for over a week. Her lungs are still recovering from the effusion so her back-up rate wasn't quite back down to where it was before, but it was definitely a relief to see her back on CPAP. This week our little naked child finally graduated to clothes (which makes one fashion conscious mommy super happy). Since she was able to tolerate her increased food, her supplemental IVs were removed, and that meant the nurses and I could  have fun dressing her up in all her tiny preemie clothes. Let me just say that in only one month, my child is already giving me a run for my money in the clothing department. I suspect we may be competing for closet space soon (insert eye rolls from my husband here). We also bought her some cute sheets to decorate her bed and swaddle her with since all the other mommies in the room were putting me to shame (Yep, it starts this early!). Casey has also been much more alert this week, and we have loved getting to see her with her eyes open and taking in what is going on around her. The biggest milestone this week is that she weighed in at 3 pounds just in time for her one month birthday! She has been hovering just below it for a few days now, and she finally reached it last night.

After over a week of good news, this morning we got the call that she was having more spit-ups and her CO2 levels were pretty high. After watching her for a few hours and giving her a breathing treatment, she was still continuing to drop her oxygen saturation level and the doctor determined it was best to put her back on a breathing tube while they investigated what was causing her to need to work harder to breathe.  We are still waiting on results of the tests, but the possibilities include acid reflux, irritation in her throat from the last time she was intubated, or it could also be an infection.  We of course are relieved that she is more comfortable and not struggling to breathe, but it is definitely tough to go from discussing weaning down her back-up rate and moving toward coming off CPAP one day to being on a ventilator again the next.  Specific prayers are requested that they determine the cause quickly so that they can find the right course of treatment.  Although today has been a bit discouraging, we have faith that she is in God's hands, and this is just one step in healing her little body.

At home we have been busy working on Casey's room, and the crib we ordered in July finally arrived today. We are hoping to put the finishing touches on the nursery this weekend, and I will post pictures soon.  For now enjoy the latest pictures of the Doodlebug:

Checking it all out!

 New purple sheets

 Lookin' cute in her new clothes

 So sweet in her purple swaddle

The nurse and I couldn't resist matching her clothes to her bedding.

Mommy time!



She looked so adorable her monogrammed hat made by one of Brian's co-workers.  

Official One Month picture