The Sattler Scoop: Finally Some Calm After the Storm...

Our little girl has had quite an eventful week or so since my last post. Last Wednesday, the doctors attempted to extubate her, and immediately she showed signs that she was not ready to come off the breathing tube again. They ran more tests and discovered that her infection had now spread to her lungs. Since she did not seem to be responding to the meds as quickly as they hoped, a specialist in infectious diseases was consulted and recommended a spinal tap to rule out more serious problems. Thankfully, the spinal came back negative, and she seems to be responding much better to the treatment now. After almost two weeks of not a lot of good news, we finally got the call that they successfully extubated her today. She is back on CPAP and so far her settings remain low and she is doing well. Her eye test last week showed the results the doctors expected for her gestational age, which is minor ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity). Typically this clears on it's own, and she will be re-tested next week to see if there is an improvement. We are incredibly grateful that as of now they don't need to take any corrective measures, and our biggest prayer need is for positive news next week regarding her eyes. One of our biggest celebrations this week is that she is officially weighing in at 3 pounds 12 ounces, so it is looking like we may join the 4 pound club soon. Over the last few days we have seen a big change in how active she has been, and several nurses have commented that she must be feeling better because she sure is feisty again. I guess we know who she takes after in the personality department. I actually told my mom earlier this summer that I had a feeling that after the kind of baby I was, I didn't think I would be getting off too easy with my own child (for those of you that didn't know me when I was young, let's just say from the stories I've heard personality wasn't something I ever lacked). It appears that just like me, my child is going to let you know her opinion on things.

Recently I stumbled across this passage titled "How Preemie Moms are Chosen," and in the darkest moments over the difficult last two weeks this has brought me to tears, and also given me comfort. I will close with this and of course the latest pics of Miss Personality:

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
(Adapted from Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.

"A mirror will suffice."